14/48 January 2019

2019 the frame job - photo joe iano - gurvinder singh
14/48 January 2019. “The Frame Job,” directed by Annie Lareau. Pictured: Gurvinder Singh as Rory. Photo by Joe Iano.

PARKER: But nobody’s gonna give us diddly for a buncha formerly-priceless paintings which we have summarily destroyed due to incautious handling, so watch the damn goods.

RORY: Yeah, yeah.

(They get back to work, but RORY stops in front of the framed sketch again.)

RORY: Kinda makes you feel something lookin at all this. Kinda small. Young. You know. Thinkin about someone hundreds of years ago makin it. It still being around today.

PARKER: Yeah, it’s ten pounds a historically significant in a five pound bag. It’s no Rembrandt, though.

RORY: Says it’s Degas. Be a helluva thing to hang up in your own parlor.

PARKER: Next to your black velvet Elvis and those happy little trees Rebecca did?

RORY: Why not?

PARKER: Cause your girl ain’t no Rembrandt, either.

RORY: Watch it.

PARKER: We’re here for the insurance. No DA in the world’s gonna cut you a deal for that thing.

(There’s a slight commotion from offstage, the sort of noise you might hear from a couple of tied-up security guards deciding to try their luck and get out of their bonds.)

PARKER: (Checking the time.) Shit and shinola. Come on, pack it up. We gotta get outta here before the real fuzz show.

(PARKER grabs their stuff. RORY keeps glancing at the sketch. Finally, decisively, they grab it, frame and all)

PARKER: You gonna fence that one?

RORY: Nah. It’s for me.

Saturday, January 12: “Engage!”

2019 engage - photo joe iano - andrew murray katya landau craig lamm ashley bagwell
14/48 January 2019. “Engage!” directed by Rachel Delmar. Pictured: Andrew Murray as Melo, Katya Landau as Rohn, Craig Lamm as Skylar, Ashley Bagwell as the Exodocent. Photo by Joe Iano.

MELO: You’ve been dating what, two years?

SKYLAR: Not counting relativistic time dilation.

MELO: Right, right. Look, Sky, don’t worry! Rohn’s crazy about you. As for the situation we find ourselves in – remember what they drilled into us as cadets at the Solar Union Exploration Academy.

SKYLAR: “Never daunted—”

MELO: “Never abandoned—”

SKYLAR & MELO: “Resourceful and steadfast, / together we stand!”

EXODOCENT: (Off-stage, interrupting at the / ) THE TIME OF SACRIFICE ARRIVES

(The SUPREME UNIVERSAL EXODOCENT etc enters, bringing with them DOCTOR ROHN ARBELLE, who is also handcuffed. SKYLAR gasps)

SKYLAR: Rohn!

ROHN: Skylar! Captain Melo!

EXODOCENT: SILENCE, HEATHENS OF THE OUTSIDE. YOU PROFANE OUR OFFERING WITH YOUR GREETINGS.

SKYLAR: Rohn, what are you doing here?! Why didn’t you stay on the ship?

ROHN: I knew you two would get into trouble without me!

SKYLAR: We’d get in trouble? They’re going to sacrifice you!

MELO: Hey, you with the hat! You’re breaking about eight different galactic treaties right now!

EXODOCENT: YOUR TREATIES ARE NOTHING BUT FUMES TO BE DISPERSED BY THE GREAT WINDS OF XAV. I BRING THIS OFFERING UNTO XAV, THAT SHE MIGHT BE NOURISHED AND BELCH FORTH THE FLAMES THAT WILL CLEANSE THE OUTSIDE AND MAKE WAY FOR THE EMPIRE-THAT-WILL-BE.

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